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Why My Brother Should Be Writing His Own Articles About How Much He Hates Work

OK so this is a little off topic. But I just got the most elaborate, passionate text from my brother about how much he hates his job. He works for a financial firm that shall remain nameless and he has to deal with phlegmy brokers, trust fund leeches, and other amazing creatures. So, before I show you the text I have to paint the scene for you.

I’m at the beach with one of the most adorable women the Bay Area has to offer (and there are plenty) when my phone beeps and as I’m looking at the ocean and finding new places to rub lotion into said girl’s back (”Wouldn’t want you to get any red spots now would we?”) My phone beeps. It’s my brother Chris and this is what the text reads:

“This is one of those situations where you take on 11 hours of work but during the last hour you’ve reached your limit and have no sanity left to proceed. ..”

“Your mind slowly reverts to a state not unlike that of tripping on mushrooms, people make statements that you can hardly process…”

“It feels like your reaction is from a roulette wheel of impulses that increasingly grows in slots that include “punch the person” or “Scream” and you wonder when your luck will run out and you’ll stop landing on “manage to control your insanity by a thread and continue dying inside.”

Wow, right? Should a man with literary talents like this be so selfish as to hide his ramblings from the world? Anyway, I really want my brother to conjure his ball power together and start a blog of his own. I mean I smell some true talent.Can I get an Amen?
Lil’ Weezy in the flesh…

Posted by Chantelle Posted in: Uncategorized No Comments » May 2008

The Girl To Go To Glossary

You can flip through the dictionary all day long, but you won’t find some of the words and terms I use in this blog. That’s because my language is a good blend of Los Angeles Lesbian Slang, San Francisco PC terminology, and a dash of Jersey Girl. I want to make sure we are speaking the same language so if you come across something that you can’t figure out with context clues, refer to this guide. If you can’t find it here, feel free to ask me.

LALS= Los Angeles Lesbian Slang (It may not derive from Los Angeles, but that is where I picked it up.)

SFPC= San Francisco Certified Politically Correct Terminology

J.EAST= New Jersey/East Coast Lingo

Chantelle=something I pulled out of my very supple ass

Androgyny- n. The condition of having both masculine and feminine characteristics, as in appearance, attitude, or behavior. (dictionary.com)

Bottom- n. An individual who only enjoys being penetrated whether it be mentally or sexually. (LALS) *also referred to as a “power bottom” or a “submissive”

Call Back-n. I’m referring to auditioning in the acting world. I auditioned for commercials, movies and episodics back in my Los Angeles days. A call back is when they like you at an audition and they call you and a few others they liked (often more than less) to re-audition you or show you to the client, producers, director and such to make a final decision.

Dominant, A- n. The aggressor in the relationship. They often enjoy penetrating whether it be mentally, physically or sexually. One can be a dominant in all aspects of the relationship, or dominant in certain aspects of the relationship and submissive in others. ie: He makes all the decisions in the relationship. But in the bedroom she runs the show.

Dominant Submissive Hybrid- n. An individual who enjoys both penetrating and being penetrated with the slight or significant preference of penetrating. (Chantelle) *also referred to as a “versatile top”

Power Bottom- n. An individual who only enjoys being penetrated whether it be mentally or sexually. (LALS) *also referred to as a “bottom” or a “submissive”

Power Top- n. An individual who only enjoys penetrating whether it be mentally or sexually. (LALS) * also referred to as a “top” or a “dominant”

Submissive, A- n. The one who allows themselves to be dominated, claimed or controlled in a relationship. They often enjoy being penetrated whether it be mentally, physically or sexually. One can be a submissive in all aspects of the relationship, or dominant in certain aspects of the relationship and submissive in others. ie: She makes all the decisions in the relationship. But in the bedroom he runs the show.

Submissive Dominant Hybrid- n. An individual who enjoys both penetrating and being penetrated with the slight or significant preference of being penetrated. (Chantelle) *also referred to as a “versatile bottom”

Top- n. n. An individual who only enjoys penetrating whether it be mentally or sexually. (LALS) * also referred to as a “power top” or a “dominant”

Versatile Bottom- n. An individual who enjoys both penetrating and being penetrated with the slight or significant preference of being penetrated. (LALS) *also referred to as a “submissive dominant hybrid”

Versatile Top- n. An individual who enjoys both penetrating and being penetrated with the slight or significant preference of penetrating. (LALS) *also referred to as a “dominant submissive hybrid”

Posted by Chantelle Posted in: For Gay Men, For Lesbians, For Straight Men, For Straight Women, Uncategorized 4 Comments » December 2007

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