How to Attract Women From A Lesbian’s Point of View

Drop the book you have in your hands, yes the one that was written by some guy who is going to try to tell you how to score chicks…now slowly back away from it. Because chances are that if you want to learn how to attract women you are going to have to talk to one first. Consider me your gal!I often laugh when I see men huddled together talking about women. (I feel the same way watching women jabber about men as well, but for the sake of this article, I will focus on the lads.) Usually, the overall vibe is frustration with a nice thick coat of clueless.The difference between most women and me is that I more than feel men’s pain. I, too, had grown accustomed to lady-less nights, pointing a finger I could have been putting to much better use at everyone but who was really to blame…me.The sad reality is that the men who have the time to sit around and complain about women aren’t sleeping with women, which is why they are complaining in the first place. Chances are if they were attracting women, they would be out hanging out with women. The irony behind this is that by sitting around talking to men who can’t get women about women, you really are exacerbating the problem. It’s a one-way ticket to failure. And it’s whiny and annoying so stop it.So before I get started on how to attract women I must say this…If you would rather sit in a circle with your brow furrowed, chugging cheap beer with your homies, scoffing at the ladies, do me and the rest of the world a favor and GO GET YOURSELF A MAN! You’re surrounded by them anyway; it might be a better market for you.

DROP THE LADY-LESS HOMIES

You ever hear the saying, “If you want to be successful, surround yourself with successful people?” If you pretty much apply that to every aspect of your life in which you desire to be successful, you can’t go wrong. Funny thing about friends who attract women is that the women they attract have friends, which by default will put you around women. Another thing that a lot of men fail to realize is that around 90% of sperm was not meant for fertilizing an egg, it was meant to fight off and kill other sperm. So when you are in a group of men, the same people who are agreeing with your complaints about women are the same people who are subconsciously sabotaging you. All too often it’s not so subconscious. This is also known as the art of “cock-blocking.” Sprint as fast as you can in the opposite direction of this contagious failure.

SELF ASSESSMENT

Let me be the one to say that if you are looking for some sort of scam, scheme or sure-fire way to con women into going home with you, you are asking to be lonely. I know a lot of “players” who run around bragging about the women they have tallied up. Congratulations! You attracted a bunch of women who don’t like themselves! You don’t like yourself! You’re a real winner! If you want to attract beautiful, intelligent, well-rounded individuals, you have to BE a beautiful, well-rounded individual. And…here’s the hardest yet important part, you have to truly believe that you DESERVE a beautiful, well-rounded individual. I don’t know you but I’ll tell you this much. You DO deserve functioning relationships, you deserve love, you deserve great chemistry and all the finer things in life. Don’t try to cheat your way out of them, because having bad intentions will attract people who also have ill intentions and you’ll constantly be miserable and surrounded by miserable people.Now that you know you are worthy. Are you ready? Be honest with yourself. I fell victim to the “player” mentality myself. I was dishonest and though I was attracting a lot of girls, they were the wrong kinds of girls. I was the wrong kind of girl and I was miserable. I wasn’t ready for a relationship. Now by “relationship”, I mean an interaction with an individual. I’m not very monogamous at this stage of my life, but I am in a very healthy relationship because my partner and I are on the same page. As opposed to being dishonest and trying to act like I am something I’m not, over time I became very comfortable with who I am and learned to love who I was. I spent a lot of years beating myself up over not being a “committed” person. Turns out I am rather loyal in my own right, and more importantly, I’m a great catch for someone who has the same values as I do. So in order to open yourself up to the idea of attracting new mates, you should be relatively aware what it is you stand for, so you can find someone who feels the same way. Take it from someone who has spent a lot of time in “relationships” fighting everyday. It’s not worth it, and it’s all very avoidable.(You will also need to assess whether you are dominant or submissive. This is REALLY important and I will approach this later)

START TALKING TO WOMEN

Make some female friends. You don’t even need to ask them about women, they’ll reveal everything over time. One thing to remember is that every woman is different. Some women might respond to you favorably while others might loathe you. The idea is to like yourself enough so that you often find yourself attracted to women who are attracted to you. That being said, a lot of men don’t like to fall into what they call “the friend trap.” Let me explain how this way of thinking is pitiful.Split your options in half, LADIES NOW, LADIES LATER. Unless you are looking for “the one,” then you might appreciate this concept. You may have a female friend now while you’re a game-less wonder, and through her, you meet women who you end up dating. Once those women start to like you, your friend might start to see you in a different light. Consider it a long-term investment, so to speak. Investing in your financial future is good, why not invest in your dating future as well? A lot of men have a problem with this way of thinking because they want girls NOW, they want ladies NOW! NOW NOW NOW! Or they’ll get blue balls. Well, with that way of thinking, you’ll get the blue balls NOW because desperation is not a turn-on, and you’ll have blue balls in the future, too, because you didn’t invest!I can count on two hands how many times a girl had to choose between me and another guy and she chose me. Not because I was better than the other guy by any means. I just didn’t put any pressure on her and I just wanted to have fun. She felt like less of a trophy, and more of a human being. In two cases the girl had never even been with a woman before so the odds were pretty much stacked against me. I patiently waited for the competition to eliminate themselves by being way to eager. So, don’t be desperate! Patience is a wonderful virtue.

YOU’VE GOT A POTENTIAL LADY IN YOUR SIGHTS, WHAT NEXT?

You ever see a television show where a girl is talking and the guy is zoned out completely. And the laugh tracks are going in the background and everyone thinks this is funny. It’s NOT FUNNY. It’s a one-way ticket to becoming a lonely loser.LISTEN! Not because you’re a sensitive male who likes to listen and all the stuff your lady-less friends may call you. But because you need to know if she is what you REALLY want. When people talk, the more they say, the more they give away who they really are. Listen to what’s NOT being said. You want to make sure you both have something to offer one another. Long story short, you want to make sure this is not going to be a boring disaster or a drama fest. You want to have fun don’t you? Isn’t that what meeting people is all about?For example, if a woman starts talking and she’s constantly mentioning men who have done her wrong, RUN! People who hang around with people who treat them badly don’t have high opinions of themselves. These are the kinds of people who go CRAZY if you decide to end things. I’ve gone through this one too many times.**SIDENOTE**Ever hear the saying, “Hot people are always the craziest.” I have a theory about this I’d like to run by you. When kids are young, they get a lot of attention. Why? because they are so darn cute, that’s why. For most folks as they get older, that attention slowly fades. For attractive people, this is not the case. They continue to get spoon fed attention (especially women but not exclusively). Hot people do not like to have their attention taken away from them. It’s like snatching a rattle from a baby, get prepared to hear them bawl their eyes out. So, hot people are not crazy. They are crazy for attention.

SIT BACK, RELAX AND EVALUATE

I have two tricks I use to find out if a woman is a lesbian. Three actually. One is I check her nails to see if they are long. Usually lesbians don’t have long nails. (I could go into detail why, but I’ll leave that up to your imagination…think..yeah…OUCH!) The second trick I shall not disclose here, but if you meet up with me in person I’ll tell you for sure. The third trick is my favorite! I just ask her if she is a lesbian or not. If you want to know something, don’t be afraid to ask. Be tactful, but ask. This will help you assess your potential mate. Most people go into a possible dating situation thinking, “Oh My God, what can I do to make this person think I’m a good catch?” Here’s another question you might want to try asking yourself. “What is SHE doing that is going to make me want to stick around for a bit?” There are two sides to that coin–don’t start off by putting someone you don’t even know on a pedestal.Part of assessing your potential mate is figuring out who is dominant. Are you dominant, submissive or both? Most people are both but leaning more towards one or the other. I’m a 51/49 split my self. This is not really an asking question by the way. Some people might find this uncomfortable or more commonly, they will lie. Why would they lie? Society. That’s why. Society says being a submissive woman is weak. Society says being a submissive man makes you a wimp. Society says being a dominant woman will scare men away, and makes you look like a great big ball of bitch. And Society says being a dominant male makes you out to be a sexist, chauvinist pig. Society is not going to be there when it’s time for you to have an orgasm, so put it out of your mind. If a woman subtly correcting your mistakes and spanking the living shit out of you is what is going to get you off then by all means GO FOR IT!But here’s the good news. You can usually tell what someone you are approaching leans more towards because, thanks to society, they will be trying to present the exact opposite, i.e.: A dominant male will try to come off as a gentle sensitive man or a submissive female will try to come off as a feminist woman who doesn’t stand for men’s crap. This is not always the case, but in my experience, I found that usually this is the case with women under thirty. As folks grow older and get more comfortable in their skin, they start to portray more of who they really are upfront.You may find that with some people you are more dominant and with others you take a step back. I can usually tell within two sentences of meeting someone where I stand on the dominance scale. It wasn’t always this easy for me, but over time it gets easier.So, how is that chemistry going? Are you a dominant man who is about to get tied to a chair and whipped to tears? Are you a submissive guy who is about to get bored to tears? Try to be unbiased. At the very least/most, the chemistry may work better as friends.DOMINANT TIPS: Be sure to match her gaze. Get close to her, not freakishly close but close enough to prove you are comfortable around her. Let her do a lot of the talking, just listen. Feel her out. Try not to come off as too intense. It’s hard to say what men can get away with these days. I have gotten away with a few things that I’m sure if I was a guy I would’ve have been punched in the face. But use your best judgment. Feel the situation out.SUBMISSIVE TIPS: Let her make the moves. Dominant women will usually take the lead so sit back and enjoy the ride. She’ll probably be asking you a lot of questions, and doing a lot of listening and slow nodding while slowly sipping a cocktail you can’t pronounce and checking you out.*These roles aren’t always set in stone. Over time they may even switch, and there is a way to go about dominating more dominant women if you feel they are open to it, but that’s another blog and another time.*

DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT THINKING

Your mind in this case is your worst enemy. Just go for it! If the chemistry is there, then make a move. (Unless she is obviously dominant and is already making a move on you…HOT!) Make the situation as little about you as possible. A lot of times when someone says the dreaded word, “No,” it has nothing to do with you. Remember, you don’t know this person. She could have just gotten a divorce, she could be out drinking to take her mind off of her mother’s first chemotherapy session. The world doesn’t revolve around us. There are over 6 billion people in this world. Don’t focus all your energy on one “No.” In this case, maybe making a friend out of the situation isn’t so bad. She may be going through something now, but LATER you might be able to turn that “No” to a “Yes.” Or even better, you might have made an amazing friend…or even better, she might have some really hot friends!So go for it! If she says YES, have a ball, use protection and I wish you the best. < QUICK TIP FOR ALL MY DOMINANT LADS >If you are feeling a bit nervous don’t use alcohol to calm down unless you are 100% aware of how many drinks it takes to destroy you. You don’t want to come off as slutty and sloppy. Try this one, keep a pen with you or something else you can twiddle around with and work your nerves out by playing with it. You can keep it in your pocket if you want to be less conspicuous. Actors use this technique often it’s called DISPLACED ASSOCIATION. If you have ever seen Kill Bill, notice how David Carradine “Bill” is always accomplishing some sort of task during his scenes. At the end of Kill Bill 2 he is making sandwiches with his daughter and Beatrix Kiddo, Uma Thurman. The scene is very natural and well executed in my opinion. You can use this technique in the dating world as well. Once you assert your dominance don’t back down. Be subtle and play with that pencil;)< QUICK TIP FOR MY SUBMISSIVE LADS >Look nervous!SOME QUICK RECOMMENDATIONS:Looking for good food in San Francisco?, not so ritsy not so expensive? BURMA SUPERSTAR (It’s packed, get there at 4:45 to get a table. An early dinner is perfect for a first or second date.)Need new threads to impress the ladies? WEARMENAKED, ALTERNATIVE APPAREL (Kweejibo, and VILLIANS in San Francisco)

Some sweet music to get the mood going?

• Christians and Lions “More Songs For Dreamsleepers and the Very Awake”
• Calla “Stand Paralyzed”
• Chantelle Tibbs (it’s my new cd and it’s very romantic)

Still completely confused about dominants and submissives? Watch “THE SECRETARY”Cheers and Love,Chantelle

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• How to Get A Hot Woman In Your Bed Tonight! GUARANTEED!
• How To Turn A Lesbian Out
• About Me

Posted by Chantelle December 2007

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